Sometimes discernment is hard. But sometimes, God just throws up his hands and does it for you. (Twice, if necessary.)
More than a year ago, a ridiculous dream formed itself in my heart. On May 5, 2018, it actually happened.
In which we fly across the world to serve the sick and end up joining their ranks instead. In Lourdes, there are no accidents.
This is not a simplistic “God never closes a door without opening a window” speech. It’s just a reminder that a negative (or absent) response does not have to mean the end of a relationship with God.
Staring into the abyss without clinging tightly to the hand of God is a dangerous game. He’s calling me back to his side now. Take my hand, dear daughter. It’s time to cling again.
I believe now, in my bones, that God is in control and will order all these scary moments into a beautiful whole, someday.
Don’t I? I think I do. Right?
I wish I could say I am secure enough in my trust of God’s plan and providence to voluntarily move deeper into the hard and messy stuff that is this life. That appears to be what He is asking of me in 2018.